


Human Lessons: How To Prank Call

by devilsduplicity



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-22
Updated: 2010-02-22
Packaged: 2017-11-29 23:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilsduplicity/pseuds/devilsduplicity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean teaches Castiel how to pull a prank call.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Lessons: How To Prank Call

Human Lessons: How To Prank Call

**Who:** Dean/Castiel  
 **What:** pre!slash. Dean teaches Castiel how to pull a prank call.  
 **When:** Set ambiguously near the end of Season 4, beginning of Season 5.  
 **Word Count:** 755  
 **Warnings:** Obnoxiously corny jokes.

 

 

**How To Prank Call  
**

"Dean, I don't understand."

"Cas, if you would _shut up_ for five minutes, then I could explain it to you."

"But... this custom..."

"This custom is frickin' _gold_ , Cas. Don't question it."

Dean was huddled around an Oklahoma phone book, his cell phone in one hand, pages falling in waves like a paper waterfall by way of the other.

Castiel was beside him -- too close -- and could only stare in consternation.

"Why are we doing this?" he asked, his voice a steady monotone. Despite the confusion, he had enough good grace to not get too worked up about it.

"Because I'm bored."

"You have a television."

"There's nothing good on."

"I could-- leave... and you could--"

"Cas." And then something wry twisted its way onto Dean's expression. "I'm not a nympho."

"My apologies," the angel replied, ducking his head.

"Besides," Dean went on, placing his finger on a random _Smith_ and grinning like a cat who had just found a saucer of milk. "This'll be more fun."

He punched in the preceding _*67_ , just to be safe, then switched the phone to 'speaker' and gripped the edge of the counter when it started to dial.

 _"Hello?"_ came the voice on the other line, and Dean had to clear his throat and cough away the childish laughter trying to choke him.

"Yes, is this Mr. Smith?"  
 _  
"Yeah. Who's calling?"_

"Alonzo Mosely, from Electronics and Appliances United, Repair and Maintenance Division."  
 _  
"... I think you have the wrong numbe--"_

"Sir, this is a very important matter. If you could just answer a few questions, then I'll leave you alone shortly."

There was a sense of hesitation on the other line, then a begrudging, _"Alright."_

Castiel wondered, offhandedly, why Dean was lying so much, but assumed the human knew more about this 'prank calling' than he did.

"Thank you," Dean continued, the smile on his face not at all matching the tone of his voice. "Now, if you could go to your kitchen, I have a few questions about the appliances there that I need to ask you."

The voice sighed heavily, but after a moment, made a noise of confirmation on the other end. _"I'm here."_

"Good." Dean paused. "Is your refrigerator running?"

_"I think so, yeah."_

A longer pause.

"Then you better go catch it!"

Castiel still didn't understand, but the infectious grin that spread across Dean's face when he hung up was enough to tell the angel that the activity might not be entirely without purpose.

When Dean handed the phone off to him, however, Cas could only stare.

"Your turn."

"... Dean."

"Oh, _come on_ , Cas!"

Castiel tentatively took the phone, then stared at it.

"It's easy," Dean goaded after a while. "All you have to do is call up someone and lie."

"I don't approve of deception."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"If lying isn't your cup of tea, just talk about your angel mojo stuff, or something. Wouldn't want to tread on your delicate heavenly senses, now would we?"

Castiel gave him a _look_ , then flipped through the phone book and found what seemed to be an appropriate number. He punched in the beginning sequence, _*67_ , under Dean's insistence, then dialed the rest. It rang once, and then he switched it to speaker phone and waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

_"Hello?"_

"Clarence Walker," Castiel said, and his voice was so _serious_ it made Dean blanch.

It made the feminine voice stutter.

_"Y-yes?"_

He closed his eyes, then; let his grace wash over him like a divine entity, pushing and pulling and swelling and swaying until he could hear the buzz of silent whispers flitting in and out of his head like the edge of feathered wings. Voices, information spoken in a language lost to humanity, and facts were trickled delicately into his ear.

"Your husband will not return," he said gravely. "But you will find someone better."

A sound of indignation blasted from the speaker before Dean dove violently for the phone and clapped it shut.

Castiel blinked, stared at the closed phone, then tipped his head towards his companion.

His companion who was currently laughing his ass off.

"Did I do well?" he asked, still the very epitome of seriousness.

"Cas," Dean barked out when he had finally composed himself enough to stand straight. And then he shook his head, clapped a hand on the angel's back, and steered him towards the door, a sudden hunger gnawing at his stomach.

"I'm gonna have to teach you how to lie."

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
THE END  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~


End file.
